Developing a love affair with life
What Lovers Do
What is the first characteristic of lovers? What is the primary aspect of how they relate?
No, it’s not just the physical chemistry. That can be part of it but far from the whole picture. For example, a one-night stand is not a love affair.
The first characteristic of lovers is constant and always there. It is the way that they notice each other.
Every word, every movement of the loved one is absorbed with intense interest. Every smile, every touch, every glance. With eyes wide open, they soak in every nuance of what makes the other unique.
The intensity of noticing can fade with time. However, if love remains, the interest and attention will stay too. Mature love has learned to understand the concerns and delights of their beloved.
This is love between individuals. I started thinking; what does it look like to have a love affair with life?
What Lovers of Life Do
Attentiveness. Noticing. Eyes wide open and taking it in.
On cold misty mornings, I have watched the changing shapes of the distant trees through the fog. Lovely. The gentle softening of edges. The muting of colors to a silver gray. This noticing also contains love, even if it feels a bit one-sided, somehow, that doesn’t matter. It feels natural to love the world.
I’ve never had much success with deliberate meditation techniques, but if they work for you, awesome! Great ways of being here.
I have more success with stillness in prayer. This settles my restless overactive mind and makes me more open to the present moment.
As an artist, I should paint that misty morning. Perhaps I will. My difficulty is that I want to paint the whole world. I also need some ‘guilt-free’ time. Time set aside to notice and be wide-eyed in love with this amazing world.
Everyone is different. It’s worth getting to know yourself. What things, what places, encourage you to be unequivocally here?
However you approach it, here’s the rub: our world is so very preoccupied with texts, emails, social media, and taking constant pictures with our phones — to pay attention to life around us takes deliberate effort. To feel the breeze and notice the changing patterns in the clouds.
Loving Others
Attentiveness is not limited to nature, but it’s a great place to start the practice. Hopefully, our attentiveness will also extend to the rest of our world, including the people in it. How is it even possible to love anyone, family member or friend, if you are not paying attention to them? It’s not.
Attentiveness can profoundly affect you and those you care about. It can help make the world a better place.
Loving Creativity
You don’t have to be able to paint it, sing it, or write poetry about it. Wonderful if you can! However, the joy of noticing is not restricted to those who can turn it into an art form. That joy is available to everyone, there for the taking.
Still, the art connection is valid too. Being in a creative flow is a wonderful way to be in the moment. It’s a go-to for me, as necessary as breakfast.
Even when not participating directly, being absorbed in the art of others, art that moves you; favorite music, a play, or art in any form, can bring attentiveness back to a busy life. Those are the moments when we feel most alive. Those can be part of an open-eyed wonderful life.
The Purpose
And the purpose of all this noticing? To experience being fully alive and to grow in empathy for the world around us.
So I remind myself, I hope it is meaningful to you too — take time to notice. Take time to have a love affair with life.
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