Suggestions for dealing with a sour event in life, because life is not one fix-fits-all.
I’m thinking of those minor to moderate irritations in life. Some call them lemons.
These can be random events or caused by yourself or other people. Whatever you call it, stuff happens. It’s what you do with it that matters.
Setting aside the obvious concerning other people: do you need to talk to someone? Do you need to do something? I will focus on the person you live with, yourself. Ha! You were hoping I was about to say your partner, but they are off the hook this time. This is about you.
There are the usual recommendations that you will have heard: take time in nature, eat chocolate, cuddle the dog, or take a holiday. These are fine ideas and could shake off that sour taste.
However, I don’t have a dog and in my vast experience even eating chocolate has limits. Holidays are not always possible and can be expensive. Helloooo nature.
Extracting my tongue from my cheek, as a fellow human and not a psychologist, I present some alternative approaches that don’t cost money and that have been helpful for me.
1.
See if there is some humour in what happened.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall be endlessly amused.
– Anonymous
Being able to laugh can magically lift a weight and help gain a happier perspective. It’s like throwing a lot of sugar on top of those lemons.
2.
Look for something to learn. I get it — that seems like more lemon juice, but it could be a sour-tasting preventative medicine, and in that context worth swallowing.
3.
Make a conscious decision that you don’t want to play judge. Not judge of yourself, not judge of anyone else, not even judge of random events. Not your curly wig to wear. Throw off that cumbersome robe and carry on living.
4.
Talk to a friend who knows how to listen. Keep the drama within normal decibels and remind yourself to be there to listen next time your friend is juggling lemons. Another terrific option, if you are open to it, is to talk to your Creator. In my limited experience, they are a great listener.
Every evening I turn over my troubles to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway.
– Mary C. Crawley
5.
Here’s a favourite of mine: plan to go somewhere to be active and occupied, change your mind at the last minute, and curl up with a good book instead. I find this more effective than just going straight for the book — heheh.
6.
If you find yourself arguing with someone in your head, and it’s often the same someone, you may need to walk away from that relationship. The in-the-head arguments are a big clue right there, between your ears. It is not advisable to allow these to become regular conference calls.
7.
Music can help. I find it most effective to lie on the floor on my back, arms flung out (there is a rug), and close my eyes. Dancing is worth a try too, curtains open or closed, your call.
8.
Write the troubling thing down the old-fashioned way with paper and pen. For some, writing things down brings a new depth of clarity or helps with letting go. Tearing that stuff up and putting it in the garbage can also be strangely satisfying. I was skeptical about that last action, but found out, it can be helpful.
9.
Painting, drawing, or crafting of any type is a ticket-free way to escape the lingering lemons for a while. When you come back, they may have lost their sting.
If these all fail, you can fall back on going for a walk in nature or eating chocolates. Or get a dog to walk with. Don’t feed it chocolates.
Don’t forget. You are not alone. From time to time, we all get lemons to deal with.
For myself, I find brownies more effective than lemonade. Thanks for the quote, Vonnie Snyder.
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