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Like you, I do a lot of adulting. And when I have had enough of that nonsense, I call on the child in me to come out and play. “High Five” — painting by Cheryl O Art What brings out the child in you? I know you are in there. Some call it spirit or soul. Some call it essence. Whatever you call it, we are who we are from our first to our final breath. Think about your earliest memories. Do you recognize yourself in those memories; what you thought and felt, or how you acted? It doesn’t matter your age, you are you. I find something comforting in knowing that I have always been, well, me. This is a consistent foundation that feels right and whole. It is one of those rare thoughts that makes me go ‘aaah’ and helps me let go of the tension that too often accompanies adulting. Keeping Afloat As you grow, your you-ness learns to be more expressive. A 5-year-old does not speak the same way as a 20-year-old. Perhaps less obviously, a 30-year-old does not speak the same way as a 60-year-old. Life does have its impacts, positive and negative. Sometimes life can wear you down. Responsibilities and the wearying fact that we must pay for our groceries, whatever that makes necessary. Some actions help us keep swimming above the constant flotsam of mind-numbing routines. Creativity helps. Creativity can be a doorway to setting free the child within. It’s a way of being alive to who we are. There is a reason people want to write a book, learn to paint, or be creative in some form. Instinctively, we know that it is in creative moments that we move toward being our true selves. And, even if only subconsciously, we know that to be our authentic selves means to be free. Free! Life Events Major events, traumatic and joyful, can impact us and leave an impression on our spirits. Like a pattern pressed onto the side of a clay pot, these can make us more beautiful. A few dents along the way are normal. When those dents begin to push us in directions we were never meant to stretch cracks happen. These wounds make us want to hide or to act in ways unnatural to our spirit. I’ve experienced some of those. I found these need to be tended to, perhaps with the help of a counselor, to find healing. Do not despair. If your heart is open, you can find your way to who you were meant to be. This journey may hurt for a while but it’s worth it for the freedom on the other side. Joyful events impact us too. You will know which ones fit with your essence. These are the ones that feel like they are giving you wings. Ones that encourage you to dream, reach, and be the best version of yourself possible. The people in your life can polarize like that too. Some go against the grain rubbing us the wrong way and taking us where we do not want to go such as, into a place of anger or frustration. Minimize your time with those people. Some give us a boost to better reach 

Life has both blessings and danger for those who care Painting by Cheryl O Art For those who are naturally more caring, life is full of tough decisions. Which causes will you support and how? I am not about to decide that for you. However, here are some considerations about caring. The Partial Fixes Emotions are catalysts for action. It’s how we are made. Feel something; react to it. Caring moves you to take action that can make another life less harsh, even if it is not a total fix. Caring about others fuels kindness, compassion, and empathy. This beautiful, broken world needs all the caring it can get. Caring is a precious commodity that should be nurtured and protected. If people didn’t care, there would be no charities. There are many good causes out there. Supporting those that are meaningful to you, makes the world a kinder place. You can research the integrity of any registered charity by requesting their financial statements. This will tell you what percent of your giving goes to the work you want to support, compared to other expenses. You don’t have to give to every cause. Thoughtful giving helps protect you from scams. When searching for ‘how to find a charity’s financial reports,’ Charity Navigator was just one of many available articles or organizations. The specific charity you are interested in supporting should not hesitate to provide you with this information as well. A thoughtful approach to caring on a personal level is wise too. Sustainable Caring Some folks despair and stop caring because, for example, there will always be those who are poor. Similarly, researching cures for many debilitating medical conditions can take years to bear fruit. In a time of instant gratification, accepting that some things can’t be quickly or completely fixed, can be extra challenging. The attrition of caring happens when the focus of kindness moves to a large general view, wanting bigger or quicker fixes. In contrast, a closer view encourages compassion. Considering the potential impact of the gift on the individual recipients brings a more sustainable meaning to giving. Giving can spark hope for individuals where there is none, even if the larger problem persists. Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.— Mother Teresa We each only have one day, one moment at a time. It is good to help someone’s moments be better than they might be without our help. That attitude helped me care for my father as his Alzheimer’s progressed. I knew Dad would not remember my visit, but I took comfort in the fact that for the time I was with him, I could make him smile. Right up to almost his last day, he would smile, pat my arm, and say, ‘It’s you, just you.’ Making those moments happy for him mattered. The Unfixables Some things can’t be fixed. Life is a mind-staggering miracle. Life is also a bitch. For most people, you don’t get to any number where the candles don’t fit well on the birthday cake without some unbearable hurt coming straight at you. When someone has a harsh diagnosis, when a much-loved friend or family member has passed away, these have 

A kinder way of being. Loving the Journey — acrylic painting by Cheryl O Art Welcoming is a wonderful thing. To be welcomed is to experience a genuine warmth; a comfort in belonging; a freedom to be yourself. Those who understand how to be welcoming shine their warmth on all who approach them. They are a living testament to a better way of life. Kindness and mercy are their compasses in all they do. The wounded struggle to embrace this way of being. They have learned to hide away, to fear sharing who they are. Who can blame them while the pain lingers? I cannot. I hid myself for many years. To be welcoming is to be bravely vulnerable. Unafraid to show one’s true self with all its flaws and glories. Encouraging others to do the same. There is hope. Hope that the brightness of those who understand welcoming can coax us from our cocoons. A mist rising to the sun, we long to unfurl wings we thought were only real in childhood dreams. Faith is needed when learning to fly. In sharing words, we reach to be welcoming to others during our brief stay. In listening to the words around us, we learn to welcome others. To be welcoming is a brave and kinder way of being. Be Welcome Here — a poem The water dazzles.It sparkles in unending motionWith kisses from the sun.Warmly I am absorbed into the love affair.The shore welcomes me.The wind whispers.Moving through the trees caressingThe leaves intimately.Softly I am absorbed into the love affair.The forest welcomes me.The bees dance.Nuzzling the beauty of the flowersCarrying the life source.Shyly I am absorbed into the love affair.The fields welcome me.I speak softly.My inadequate words exploringThese intimate moments.Read and be absorbed into the love affair.You are welcome here.Cheryl O Art Not everything I write is published on this blog. If you want to read more of my writings, you could connect with me on Substack. This platform is free to join. You will get 1 short (3-4 minute) video and 1 article per week emailed to you. Here is a link to my profile which shows other articles I have published on Substack. Cheryl O Art writes on Substack 

What if you don’t want to be a hero? Painting by Cheryl O Art It might be something about getting older. The urge to be the hero is more subdued these days. I still love the old tales. Narnia, and the children who turn into fair and just kings and queens. A Wrinkle in Time, more unlikely young heroes. Knights fighting or befriending dragons. Hobbits saving the world. Wonderful stuff for a young mind to marinate in. Then you grow up. Life is hard. One of the toughest things for me was to accept that not everything can be fixed. Happy endings? More about that at the, um, ending. Meanwhile… There are people who I love who have chronic pain and it can’t be fixed. It’s heartbreaking. They don’t deserve this. Another thing I was naively unprepared for is that some people take pleasure in hurting others. Yikes! As a child, I thought goodness was real, but evil was only a fantasy. Odd, but that was what I thought. This is not going to be a grim tale all about hurting. I’m writing to acknowledge that the hero thing doesn’t always look like we imagine as children. It’s that, plus also about happy endings. Caregiving My parents lived to 95 and 97, and I was their caregiver. Mom was in and out of being declared palliative for an incredibly long time. I was still working — running my own small business. Teaching fewer hours was part of how I managed. Good for their health, not good for my business. I was far from perfect. I fought the dragon of loneliness for my parents and advocated for them the best I could. There were moments that I wish I could have done better, moments the fatigue got to me. Finding a balance with self-care in that situation would indeed be a fantasy. My heart goes out to you if you are in this position. Being a caregiver for a senior is a job doomed to fail. That is if you consider that they eventually get worse and die to be a failure; but it’s not, it’s life. Death is as much a part of life as any other part. So there’s that. Dragons Today There was a time when slaying dragons appealed. Today, I understand better, it takes so much energy. If dragon slaying is part of your current journey, more power to you. There are many dragons out there: homelessness, sickness, and injustice in countless forms, to name a few. Let’s each do what we can to combat these. The harm is real and every bit of help in this battle can make a difference, even if we can’t all be heroes full-time. Let’s support those who are. This is important. You know the people I am talking about: those who work full-time as caregivers or to try to establish justice. Consider supporting these folks in any way you can. There was a time during Covid when people became aware of how difficult a job it is to work in long-term care. These workers hardly have time or energy to mourn when the one they are caring for passes away. Some folks work in hospital situations that are tremendously draining 

The path to being fully alive. Painting by Cheryl O Art We have art so that we shall not die of the truth.— Friedrich Nietzsche If truth is something that people die of, it begs the question… What’s killing us? Anxiety is running rampant. According to Psychology Today, “Anxiety is now the leading mental health problem around the world, and the incidence of anxiety is still rising, especially among youth.” Social media does not help. Overloaded with information, nothing feels worthwhile. Our thoughts are constantly interrupted, and we become scattered. We can’t process life’s fast pace but don’t know how to get out of the race. That feeling of being trapped and the stress it produces is not healthy. It can work its way into disturbed sleep and serious health issues. The commonly heard refrain is — to unplug and detox your brain by getting off the gadgets, but without something more worthwhile to call to us, it simply doesn’t happen. That few minutes on social media stretches into hours even when we know it’s not good for us. Here’s one way to light up your life and refresh your weary soul. The beginning Beginnings are hard. Often, they take courage. Always, they take effort and energy. But a start is what is needed when you want to make changes. No one else can do this for you. Finding the oomph to get up and try is up to you. I hope to convince you it’s worthwhile. The ‘it’ is creativity. Step one is exploring to find your passion. What is calling to you? Is it writing, painting, woodworking, music, fiber art, or dance— there is a world of possibilities for creative focus. If you aren’t sure, you can explore. Local libraries are great resources for finding various clubs and activities. Or do a Google search for clubs and activities in your area. What sparks your interest? You can be flexible about how much or little you invest in exploring new interests. If art interests you but paints are too expensive, drawing is a creative expression, too. A 4B pencil and paper are all you need. A recorder costs less than a flute and makes captivating sounds. Don’t be too quick to let finances discourage you from your creative calling. Consider how your current interests could be expanded. Do you love watching movies? How about joining or even starting a movie group? It would get you relating to others and thinking about what you were watching rather than just being lost in the screen. Turn a solitary activity into a creative place for relating to friends. Are you always meaning to go for a walk, but tend to avoid getting around to it? There could be a nearby group for that. Getting out into nature is a valuable way to break the negative mental trends that so easily happen. Walking is also recommended as a way to boost creativity. Leave the gadgets at home. Opportunities are as diverse as humans are. Maintaining the flow Once you find an interest, life changes. A new interest gives you a new subject to spend time on, think about, and relate to others about. Once you get some basics down, the joy of creative 

You are not alone Quote by Mark McGinnis, watercolor & ink sketch by Cheryl O Art It’s not easy being human. It is cringeworthy at times. Or is it? I refer to the blushing gaffs we make unintentionally. Oh yes. We all do it. Like many things in life, what matters most is how we respond. The first recommendation, if it’s even vaguely appropriate, is to laugh. Don’t miss out on this potential gold mine of humor — yourself. In the year 100, Epictetus had it figured out. I’m putting his quote into the basket I call timeless truths. He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.— Epictetus I confess that there are times when laughing at myself is difficult. Here is what I figured out that can make this easier. I am not alone. One place that reinforced this to me, and you may laugh at this, is Facebook. I refer to the posts such as: The key to making a grilled cheese sandwich is to burn the first side and be ever so careful with how long the second side is cooked.— Unknown Posts like this make me laugh because that is precisely how I make a grilled cheese sandwich. I realize, oh I am not the only one who does this. The posts that end with, ‘asking for a friend’ are similarly funny. We who stumble about knocking the glass over, not finding anything to add to the latest upbeat conversation, having to burp (or worse) during a solemn moment — we are not alone. Knowing this can take so much of the weight off. Fact: an endless multitude of us are continually producing less-than-stellar moments all over the planet. Rejoice! You have found your people! They are — people. Because imperfection is what it means to be human. This understanding is so hard for you perfectionists out there. I used to have some leanings that way myself and unnecessarily beat myself up over small failures. Holy smokes. Such redundant suffering. No one is perfect. We are not made to be perfect. There is a freedom here. Giving yourself the freedom to make mistakes means that you can also be more creative. That’s important! Being creative is where we feel most alive. If you don’t set yourself free to make mistakes, you will be blocking yourself from trying anything new, especially if it is a creative outlet. If that is your case, I mourn the loss of your beautiful imperfect art. That drawing with unusual yet ever-so-sincere shapes, the song you only play alone in your room. We love Grandma Moses and Maude Lewis for their honest expression. Not every successful painter is a Michelangelo. Not all worthwhile art hangs in galleries. Here’s to your song that’s a little off-key but comes from your heart. I never thought either Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen could sing. That didn’t stop the pleasure of listening. Worthwhile music can happen without being trained for concert halls. Not to belittle the wonder of a Michelangelo or Philharmonic. I have been in awe of both. I merely draw attention to the fact that most of us are not there and never will be. This does not mean 

This can be a problem. Bold Sunset — oil painting by Cheryl O Art The trouble with poets isThey’re prolific in verse.Some of it betterAnd some of it worse.And if you indulge as a critic one-timeYou’ll find yourself covered in mountains of rhyme.AlliterationBoth poignant and pungent.Macabre metaphors,Rare and redundant.Sinewy similes — you could just chew them.Full measured meters that thump till you spew them.Soliloquies eloquent,Tragic verbosities,Unique vernacular,Tongue-tied atrocities,Sonorous syllables, words bold and words cautious,To tantalize senses or be found obnoxious.When –Leaping out from the page,blest surprise!Words wonderfully writtenbring tears to your eyes.Sigh.If that weren’t enoughThere’s the after-discussion.Did you catch my meaning?Could you feel the percussion?Till cross-eyed and weary you come out from underTo ponder if life is a grammatical blunder.Forgive me my friendAs I set this aside.I’ve more than absorbedWhat my thoughts will abide.The sun is just setting and won’t wait for me.The Great Poet speaks and I want to go see.Cheryl O Art Not everything I write is published on this website blog. If you want to read all my writings, you could connect with me on Medium. This platform allows 3 free articles per month for non-members to read. Members pay $5 US per month and in return have access to unlimited articles on almost every topic imaginable.  Here is a link to my profile which also shows other articles I have published on Medium. Cheryl O Art writes on Medium 

Key choices in your colorful world. Sentinel — acrylic by Cheryl O Art People are complicated. Combining a diverse contrast of colors in art and life, we paint a fascinating picture. Dark vs. Light In painting, values refer to the amount of dark or light of a color, between the extremes of black and white. This is a powerful component of many great paintings. A whole painting can fall apart if the values are not well placed. Beautiful light is born of a contrast to darkness.— Ross Turnbull Similarly, the things you value in your life will strongly impact your decisions. And if they don’t, hello depression. Learning to be true to your values is key to good mental health. Certain values in life can be black and white. Don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t sleep with someone else’s partner. The don’ts contrast with the do’s. Do take care of yourself. Do take care of those you love. Do make room to follow your heart. A whole life can fall apart if your values are not well-placed. Colorful Choices But life and art are more than black and white. As important as black and white are in a painting, the myriad of colors in between these extremes create the unique mood of each work of art. In life, the richness of color between the extremes of value leaves us room to express ourselves. What will you do with your time, when all obligations are met? I hope it’s something joyful that expresses who you are. A painting also contains very personal choices. Soft vs. Hard Most paintings have both soft and hard edges. There is no right or wrong about these. They need to be assessed in the context of the whole painting. Soft edges tell the viewer to flow through those areas and explore the painting. Hard edges say, stop here. People also have hard and soft edges. I imagine soft edges in people as the interests you enjoy most. You welcome them, and others who share those interests; an easy flow. Not just in the form of hobbies or sports, although those are valid too, but also in the characteristics you want to possess such as kindness or gentleness. A kind person will be drawn to other kind people. Hard edges in people could relate to boundaries. There are times when boundaries are essential to the integrity of a person. Those whose core values do not align will not be comfortable spending significant time together. This is natural and should be respected. The Complement of Opposites Granted, there are times when colors that are not related can complement each other. Yellow to purple, blue to orange, red to green; these are far from each other on the color wheel but can look stunning when nearby on a painting. You already guessed where this is going with people. Friends with different attributes can greatly enhance life for each other. I think it fair to say that there are no rules about this. Try it out and see. I do that with painting. Smack a color down to see if it works, and if it doesn’t, paint another color on top. It’s a constant learning experience. So is life. Takeaway There 

Finding a positive side to the word ‘Power’ took me a long time. Here is what changed my thoughts. Quote by Mother Teresa. Painting by Cheryl O Art In my journey, the concept of “power” has not been in the slightest way attractive. Frankly, I associated the word ‘power’ with abuse. There were people I knew who wanted power. They loved the thought of being powerful. These people were not trustworthy. Bluntly, I did not want to have anything to do with them. These are strong words, but that has been my experience. I feel this aversion toward power lovers on a personal and a societal level. Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.— Lord Acton It is an intrinsic problem with politics; those who want power are too often those who should never be given power. On a personal level, I am repelled when it becomes evident that someone is focused on power and controlling others. Since I am compassionate and gentle, it took me too long to understand the making of boundaries. I get that now. But that would be a different article. Suffice it to say, the word ‘power’ has many negative connotations for me. The measure of a man is what he does with power.— Plato Until I realized — wait a moment. In an art course, when I teach someone to use color well, I empower them to be more expressive with color. To find their unique voice in paint. By adding those two letters, ‘em’, suddenly I felt very differently about the word ‘power’. Now, empowering can be a concept I find very attractive. The whole concept of ‘empowering’ can hold some very positive associations. Empowerment is needed concerning things more essential than artistic expression — although naturally that one is dear to my heart. The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.— Alice Walker More empowerment is needed for those who suffer abuse based on race, gender, appearance, age, and other factors that unjustly cause people to be treated as less valuable. The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.— Mahatma Gandhi So nowadays you might hear me say, “I want to empower you.” Not empower you to be overbearing or abusive (never ever), but rather to encourage you to find your voice. And I hope that the things you say with your unique voice will make this world a better or more beautiful place. And if that is the case, more power to you. Not everything I write is published on this website blog. If you want to read all my writings, you could connect with me on Medium. This platform allows 3 free articles per month for non-members to read. Members pay $5 US per month and in return have access to unlimited articles on almost every topic imaginable.  Here is a link to my profile which also shows other articles I have published on Medium. Cheryl O Art writes on Medium 

A painter ponders using failure to become a better human Quote by Maria Robinson. Painting by Cheryl O Art I have watched it happen. The Cover-Up A painting that is an ‘almost’ needs more paint on top. That much is obvious to even a beginner. Less obvious is the fact that leaving some of the original layers showing can greatly enhance the finished work. The beginner will blindly cover everything losing the wonderful opportunity to layer. They don’t yet understand, layers can be good. Life isn’t any different. We want to cover our mistakes — completely. There is another way to live. Instead of pretending that we didn’t make that big goof-up, we can look it in the face and learn from it. In that way, we enhance our lives and make the next layer, the next chapter, more worthwhile. Denial is a Nasty Habit Denial nips learning in the bud. Ouch! If that purple you just added doesn’t work in the painting, denial will not move the painting to a better place. Denying that you were mistaken in something you said to a friend will not help you grow personally. It won’t do much for that friendship either. Watch out — optimism can be a stickler. There are moments when optimism needs to step aside. Blind optimism can become denial, and lose the opportunity for learning from our mistakes. Mistakes can move us forward, but only if we let them. Add Interest and Texture In my eyes, a tidy painting doesn’t have the appeal that a painting with bold free brush strokes does. Isn’t that what everyone loves about van Gogh? Those thick luscious brush strokes? Paintings where brush strokes are allowed to be less than perfect have genuine appeal. Painting by Cheryl O Art Similarly, people who are not afraid to admit mistakes are attractive too. It’s those layers of a genuine life that make them stand out. People who admit their mistakes and have learned from them have a lot to share with others. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.– Brene Brown That’s part of what makes me a successful art instructor. I make many mistakes when painting. When something goes wrong, I pay attention to precisely what, and how to fix it so I can share that in my art courses. I have 35 years of mistakes to share — heheh – and some successes too. That Prickly Ego It’s easy to be caught up in protecting our ego. Easy to forget to be human. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to keep going that matters.– Winston Churchill Mistakes in life, even those painful ones, can be golden. The painful ones in particular are a big nudge toward change. Not to hide away, but to learn from. Not to deny, but to think about — what should I do differently? Take Away You have seen it; that perfect life on social media where every mistake is completely covered over. This is not real or healthy. Instead, consider… Recognizing and learning from our mistakes is a grab for freedom. Free from pretending. Free to make changes. Free to be who we are – human. This does take courage,